Bikes Not Pipes

Because Swedish customs disallowed my prescription medicine for back pain ( medicine which is perfectly legal in the great state of Washington)  I  was forced to seek out local pharmacies in Stockholm which were oddly situated under bridges, down poorly lit alleys, and on college campuses. To no avail.  Lauren was of no help whatsoever because she has always dared to say no. At least  she used to dare to  say no, to anything, prescription or otherwise. Now after several miles on the bike it is not an uncommon sight to see her raising an ibuprofen bottle and knocking back the contents as if it were a shot of whiskey.  Plus she refuses to let me in my side the tent at night unless I score her a sleeping pill. At this point if I were to lay down a line of coke or two she would certainly hoover it before I even had a chance at my share of  blow.

I tried to look on the bright side of this situation. There can be serious side effects to my back pain medicine: short term memory loss, forgetfulness, weight gain, insomnia, but thankfully no erections lasting more than 4 hours. Unfortunately, after more than 3 weeks of being off the sauce, I've seen little improvement in the memory department. So far I've lost a bike helmet and a water bottle (left on a bus), 2 replacement water bottles (still don't know where they went),  2 bottles of shampoo (left in showers), and if it weren't for Lauren I'd be down to my birthday suit by now. Whenever she sees me self-administering a police pat-down or rummaging through my saddlebags like a dog digging into a gopher hole, she knows enough to say "what are you looking for now?" without too much exasperation in her voice. She usually then points to an area directly behind me. How embarrassing!

Fortunately the side effect of short term memory loss means that I soon forget what it is I've lost in the first place, and I don't feel bad about it for very long.  Unfortunately, my medium term memory is still intact, so I not long after forgetting that I forgot something, I remember that I forgot that I forgot something,  and I start feeling bad about it again. My long term memory seems good too.  For instance, I remember that I started this trip in Stockholm 3 weeks ago.

I really am looking forward to getting back on my pain medication when I get back to Seattle so I  can enjoy the divine state of perpetual forgetfulness.